|Posted on July 10, 2018 at 11:20 AM|
Time is such a strange construct. As I near my second Saturn return, it feels like I have lived many lives in this one. Though there is the same, common thread that is ‘me’ throughout the decades, I have this sense of having been on a journey through many foreign lands. On this journey I have built a family and seen them through their many phases, from births to deaths and all the bittersweet in between. My career has taken many twists and turns, from traditional to alternative. I’ve met many good people (and some bad ones), seen the beauty nature has to offer as well as the yuck we humans can create when we are driven by something other than love. And still, through it all, I feel that spark of anticipation….The ‘what’s next?!’ The ‘what’s next’ for me is a promise I’ve made to myself to be less afraid and more genuine, to be more grateful, to be more present.
Almost twenty years ago when I began a psychotherapy practice, I was aware that some colleagues made fun of me. I talked to clients about things like ‘meditation’ and Reiki. I feared that I would lose my good reputation not because I was doing something wrong, but because I was being honest about sharing what I knew could be healing. It did not fit into the traditional psychotherapy being offered in my community at the time. I did it anyway and I have no regrets! It seems as if I made the only choice I could, and now many mental health professionals are advocating for their clients to meditate, practice yoga and follow a path of mindfulness.
So, with the second Saturn return I am once again stepping into the realm of the unknown, but with a sense of knowing that it will all be o.k. I am now offering evolutionary astrology as part of what I feel is cutting edge toward understanding the self, the psyche, and the world around us as we change and grow. Who knows….maybe in another twenty years or so many other therapists will follow suit and use depth tools such as astrology to assist the people who trust them to advise and help heal.
The most intense conflicts, if overcome, leave behind a sense of security and calm that is not easily disturbed. It is just these intense conflicts and their conflagration which are needed to produce valuable and lasting results. Carl Jung
|Posted on May 3, 2018 at 10:40 PM|
I found myself with a some free time last Wednesday, so I pulled out a stack of images and begain flipping thorugh them. This is the SoulCollageIR) card that evolved and I have tentatively titled it "Freedom".
Lately, the world has seemed so filled with conflict and uncertainty and confusion! I suppose this card grew out of my need for a gorunding rod of sorts. The themes seem to point to balance with the land and sea, male and female images.
Here is my initial dialog with this newest SoulCollage friend:
I am one who......
....Has been present on this earth longer that the myth of what came first
....Brings you the soothing, fluid rhtyms of the deep blue ocean, the granite matrix of the tallest mountains, flexible yet sturdy
...Nurtures, contemplates, invites you to imagine what if.....What if you loosen your grip? Where will those untethered wings take you?
...Invites you, compels you to go within, to honor that which is constant in the face of change
So....in the midst of what seemed to be a very busy and somewhat chaotic day, my SoulCollage(R) practice allowed me to dip into the well of my inner healing waters. There are many ways to tap into this wise and nurturing place we call flow, the inner healer, soul....Ancient, ever present, always willing to sit beside us and witness, calm and renew.
May you find peace and renewal in your world today.
|Posted on April 23, 2018 at 5:30 PM|
Though I have created several dozen new SoulCollage cards since my last blog post one year ago, this particular one caught my attention today. Summer....vacation....journeys.....this card certainly speaks to those. "Where are you headed?" I want to ask. The beach, the mountains, on an airplane, on a train, by car....We are all headed somewhere. And having plans to look forward to adds that spark of magic on a gloomy Monday when it is tough to roll out of bed. "Let's see...in one month from today I will be looking at a different sunrise or sunset."
But more than the seasonal travel that holds a known destination and a soft pillow at the end of the day, I am called to ask the quesiton again. "Where are you headed?" There may be worries, hopes, fears, crises in faith, leaps of faith, confusion. So many distractions, so much chaos and uncertainty in our world these days. It is easy to cue up with the drama of the day...the bad news....who is fighting with who.... who blames what for God knows what.....
So, the true challenge is to be present, to be in the world and not succumb to the mindless chatter that circles around us like greedy pirhana. We are invited to open the windows, to take our shoes off, to walk in the cool grass, to listen to the sound of wind tossling the wind chimes. These moments are nourishing, these are sustaining, these are what ground us. And in sitting with our deep selves and welcoming whatever shows up, even though it may be surprising or overwhelming at first, we acknowledge our human experience. This is where we are headed, through the senses,in this moment, one breath at a time.
|Posted on March 14, 2017 at 9:45 AM|
I am always in awe of the insights my SoulCollage cards bring forth as I journal with them. This one is from the Committee Suit and is named "The Inner Healer". Below is my dialog with this dear friend:
I am one who….
……Has grown somewhat soft over the years, giving way to my complacent self
……Knows what things I need to do to keep my body healthy and strong, but often accuse time of robbing me from these vital bits of my daily regimen
…..Can become overwhelmed with all the advice about what is good for the body, what is bad, and all the things I need to avoid or embrace
…..needs to be gentle with herself and come back around to sticking with a plan that includes eating the veggies, getting rest, drinking enough water, and exercising the body and mind
I am struck by how easy it is for us to forget those things that help us feel better and thrive. A brief period of illness, a vacation, a challenging life event, and *poof*, those habits commit themselves to a kind of temporary amnesia. That is, until we wake up one morning and realize we are in a rut again. Often times we just need to take stock of what is missing so that we can fill ourselves up with the nurturing balm of our own good self-care.
So…..if you are finding yourself in a rut today, take a moment to turn off the TV, the phone, and unplug. Find a place either indoors or outdoors, where you feel comfortable to sit for at least 15 minutes. Grab something to write with and begin to think back to times in your life when you felt better, more physically or mentally fit, healthier, etc. What were you doing differently? Think about how you might nourish your body and your soul. Introduce more music, more art, more laughter, more meditative time, more nature, nourishing food……whatever it is, just give yourself permission to ponder this and reflect. You may discover that the Healer within is just waiting to be consulted, to be heard, to be honored......
|Posted on March 24, 2016 at 8:00 PM|
|Posted on March 1, 2016 at 8:55 AM|
Today is Tuesday and typically I take Tuesdays and Wednesdays for myself. It is my rejuvination time, my time away from phones and emails and the demands of a busy psychotherapy practice. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE MY WORK. But for me, as an introvert, I must be careful about balance in my life. I absolutely need a measure of solitude to keep myself on an even keel. As I grow older, I am more keenly aware of this.
So, the card I drew this morning is a Committee card. I call her my "Trained Extrovert". Here she is hunkered down on the couch, nose to the pillows because the extrovert in her, once again, has overstepped the bounds of what is tolerable. Even the extrovert, dressed in her short sleeve, boardwalk garb is out of her element here in the snowy forest. One says, "Oh, coffee at 10? I'd love to!" and the other says, "Oh, please.....clear the room because I am shutting down. I need some quiet space!"
I find this dynamic at play within myself when I have ignored my instincts and over extend my schedule. There is part of me that wishes I could go dancing after a long day at the office, or chat for hours, or tolerate the shopping mall for more than 30 minutes. But then there is the introvert who so needs space and time to smoothe the feathers, shake off the dust and generally refuel. I am glad to have both in my life, but the key for me is calibrating my activities so there is a balance, a lovely dance of energy that ebbs and flows but respects and nurtures the source of my social self.
I am celebrating balance today--good morning, Trained Extrovert! We are off to an excellent start.
|Posted on April 15, 2015 at 8:40 AM|
Sometimes I am really blown away by my SoulCollage(R) readings and this morning was one of those times. All morning I was feeling rather wistful, thumbing through the mental list of all the things I would enjoy doing today, thinking to myself, "there doesn't seem to be enough time...." So, I sat at my table in the studio, cleared my mind, and asked my deck to give me guidance and inspiration for the day. This is the card I drew! My deck now consists of 61 cards, so
When I created this card back in January, I titled it "Chronos" and it belongs to the Council suit. To me, it speaks to all the cubby holes in my mind and soul, filled with interesting things to explore and the overarching concept of time that flows and flows. Time slips away, stacks up, creeps up...... There is always that dillemma between things we must do, the time, and things we need to do for ourselves.
So, today I will honor Chronos, carry her with me and soak up her wisdom and message through the process of my day.
|Posted on February 22, 2015 at 3:55 PM|
At the end of January I had the amazing privilege to complete SoulCollage® Facilitator training with Catherine Anderson in Charlotte, North Carolina. The experience was truly fabulous. I came away with some new friends, and an enthusiasm for SoulCollage® that has grown exponentially. I also was struck with a renewed inspiration to honor creativity in myself and others. Catherine is one of those inspirational people and probably the most creative person I have ever met. Her studio is filled with books and images and things she has made. To me it was a magical place.
The beauty of SoulCollage® is that it does not require any formal art training nor does one have to have a desire to become an artist. To me, the art, the beauty, can be a by-product, but the true essence of SoulCollage® is the adventure into Self. I don’t know who said this (but it is not my original quote): “To express is to impress”. To allow the Soul to express what it needs to share is to impress within our conscious minds those aspects of our inner and outer worlds that can be either our supporters or our challengers.
So, most mornings I begin with coffee and a reading with my cards. I have found the readings to be uncanny, helpful and nurturing. As a therapist I have grown to understand the vital importance of self- care and SoulCollage® is one of the most powerful processes I have discovered over the span of my career. It is my own wisdom speaking the language of symbols that I have chosen and put together to create each unique card! I am feeling so much gratitude toward Seena Frost, the creator of SoulCollagae®. Here is the link to the website if you would like to learn more about the process: http://www.soulcollage.com/
|Posted on August 1, 2014 at 11:15 AM|
What does your soul call out for?
Moments of clarity sometimes arrive quite unexpectedly. This was the case last week as I was on my morning walk. Darwin, my dog, and I try to do 3 miles a day, although, sometimes he chooses to flop over to play with a bug or chew some tender shoots of grass. About one mile into our stroll, I guess he found something really good, because he stopped in mid step, rolled over on his back and proceeded to revel in the moment. I looked around us, estimating how far we had come. I found myself standing between the elementary school my children attended and the swimming pool we once belonged to when the kids were younger. I stood still for a moment and watched the mothers dropping their children off for swim practice, moms fussing with sun screen and the jumble of towels and swimming paraphernalia. There were splashing sounds, laughter, and the voice of a coach attempting to put the chaos into some order. The smell of chlorine, fresh mowed grass, and warm black top, all called me back to another place in time.
I thought to myself, “I was thirty-something once, with young kids. We swam at this pool. I drove up to the school door a countless number of times.” I was washed with nostalgia, bittersweet. Now my children are grown and both launched (at least for now). Tears welled, a few trickled down my cheeks, then the processing began. Often times a phrase or word comes to mind when I begin to look a little deeper into my inner world. What came to me was, “What does your soul call out for?” I’m thinking I read this at one point in a book about Edgar Cayce. Anyway, I asked myself that question several times. Each time I asked, I viewed it from a slightly different perspective: my children as they were, my children as they are now, the energy and exuberance of my youth, the desire to be in the moment, peace, beauty, a grateful heart…..
What does your soul call out for today?
|Posted on July 16, 2014 at 11:25 PM|
Through my experiences as a psychotherapist I have begun to recognize that the opportunity for change can many times be traced back to brief, intense, meaningful sets of moments. Call them synchronicities, meaningful coincidence, or dumb luck: they all lead to opportunities to view the ruts and holes in our lives from a more constructive perspective. These experiences can be seen as doors, windows, peepholes or even cracks in the walls, but they all have the capacity to allow the light into our field of inner and outer vision. They are truly blessings whether or not we recognize them as such at the time they present themselves. It is akin to the idea that, tomorrow morning when you leave your front door you go to the left instead of going your usual right. Although the decision and the action occur in an instant the effects can take you to a completely different place.
Jubal came into my life on a chilly, crisp blue sky October morning in 2003. I had no warning, no idea that this little deer mouse could have the power to change the course of my life in such a quietly radical way. A whisper of brown fur new to this earth, Jubal became a wise teacher of patience, strength and love. During the five days that I cared for him I began to just “do”. There was, to my surprise, no trepidation, no fear, but rather a deep trust in the unfolding of this very precious and intense experience. This newfound patience and openness led the way to the inner freedom to reflect and then to more “doing” and reflecting, then ultimately to this book you are reading right now. The timing appears to be the crucial factor here, for if Jubal had showed up years earlier, months earlier, I would probably not have taken the opportunity to experience.
So how could a mouse change my life? He began by catching me by surprise. Fortunately for me, though, it wasn’t in the kitchen or in my bed at night. Instead, he came to me via a client (we will call her Jane) who carried a small box, a baby bottle, and a can of powdered infant formula into my office. Jubal had gotten separated from his mother after a skirmish with a cat and my client found him on her garage floor the morning of our appointment. Knowing he would die if she allowed him to remain on the cold concrete, she scooped him up and brought him along, hoping she would figure out the rest later. She knew that she could not care for him because she was also presently caring for a young parakeet that was new to her home.
Let me say that I have always been fond and felt compassion for all living things, whether they be two legged, four legged, winged, or of the leafy green variety. However, until the moment that I held Jubal in the hollow of my hand, I never realized how selective I had been regarding acceptance of all living things. He had a tail; a long tail. And he was a rodent. I must tell you that the combination of fear and repulsion swelled and gripped rather strongly at our first point of physical contact. The entire repetoire of judgments zipped through my memory and the idea that rodents are “bad”, dirty, and carry dreadful diseases was flashing like garish neon at the forefront of my brain. Forty four years of what I thought was my true self, the “enlightened and therapeutic” one, vanished in a blink. Jane recognized my panic and gently took the mouse back into her hand, smiling and soothing him with her calm voice.
So there I was, the therapist being helped by her client. All sorts of considerations began bubbling up from the deep, dark place those fears sometimes lurk. Why was I afraid? How was my terror experienced by my client? Should I overcome the fear by taking on the task of caring for this little creature? And, what are the clinical implications of accepting this responsibility from a client? What if the mouse dies? What if I don’t know what to do? And the internal pondering paraded on and on.
Then I began focusing on my breath and found that I was able to be present in the moment and grounded again. The more Jane and I sat with the mouse, the more I felt compelled to offer to care for him. The thoughts would come and go, like “Why are you doing this?” or “Are you slipping back into a rescuer mode and taking on something you really shouldn’t or don’t want to just because this is an old psychological pattern?” But from the place where the fears arose grew a “knowing”, a sense of calm. I could feel my body responding by relaxing and I felt down to my bones that caring for this mouse was something I was meant to do. It felt “right”.
The quote from Helen Keller, “Life is either a daring adventure or nothing,” became my mantra for that first day. I kept the mouse warm until noon when I was joining a friend for lunch. There truly are no accidents. This particular friend is a very knowledgeable and gifted animal communicator and Reiki practitioner. She took me down to the pharmacy a few blocks away and we were able to purchase a syringe small enough for this tiny fellow. She went over the fine points of caring for small animals, like keep him warm, feed him frequently – even throughout the night, and keep him away from your cat. She handled the mouse with such gentle confidence that I decided to give it another try. This time I was able to see his total vulnerability and that he was as much a threat to me as a puff of cotton. When she left my office, I felt a sense of focus and grace. At that point I made the commitment to be with the experience as it unfolded, no matter what the outcome was to be.
Research has always been my best ally. If something comes up that I am unsure of, my process is to gather as much information as I can and then see what seems to stick with me. I decided that the baby formula might not give him the nutrients he required, so my daughter, Sarah, and I trekked off to the pet shop to get formula for baby kittens. On our way home Sarah asked what we should call the mouse. We were passing a street sign that said “Jubal Street”. We both saw it at the same time and agreed that Jubal sounded happy and optimistic and also seemed to fit the joy he brought to Sarah. Of course in my fervor to know more, I researched the name “Jubal”. It appears that in the Bible, Jubal was mentioned in the Old Testament as the first musician. The name seemed to fit even more, as I felt a growing sense of harmony in the task of stewarding this young mouse into the world.