|Posted on November 15, 2018 at 10:55 AM|
I am one who.....
......Stands at the beginning of something much larger than my Self
.....Anticipates, contemplates, sometimes resists entering the thick maze that is change in my life
.....Feels the energies surrounding me, leaving me vulnerable and empowered, all at once
.....Seeks to draw on wisdom and courage in the face of fear and challenge
.....Could be snatched up by the sharp beak, the powerful claws and eaten or could surrender to the numinous
.....Is learning to trust, explore, a wisdom that is much greater than my own, a natural order, an elegant timing that is the universe
Change comes whether we want it or not! I can’t tell you how many times I have been at the threshold of something new, feeling like I want to kick and scream in order to be dragged into the unknown. Part of this is the illusion of control I have maintained in certain periods of my life. Part of it is that I am used to certain rhythms and change comes in and disrupts the beat, adds an unfamiliar pattern. So all of this change stuff is stressful—even the “good” stuff, like new jobs, having babies, starting a new venture, getting married or getting into a new relationship, moving to a new city.....
During these times of excruciating change, I admit to being part of the 3 a.m. club—waking with a pit in the gut, sometimes sweating, and definitely with an un-still, worried mind. I’m sure what I am about to suggest is nothing new to many people, but I am one who learns through experience. So, even if I am clued in to something helpful, I have to learn it, to trust it, before I fully accept it. My process goes something like this:
Focus on what might replace the ugly, scary, wart ridden images .... a healing, alternative image......the bird of prey becomes a beacon of wisdom.....the 10 foot burly, hairy bear with big claws and sharp teeth becomes courage that has my back.....It takes a some courage and a willingness to be creative--there are no wrong images. Breathe, ask, “is this thought/image life deadening or life affirming?" If it is life deadening, is there a reason for me to entertain this image (something for me to learn from it)? If it is life affirming, then see if you can feel the knot in your gut relax a bit. Put one hand over your heart and the other on your solar plexus and continue to breathe...breathing in love.....breathing out fear.....breathing in love...breathing out fear.....As I write these words, I realize that this process is similar to birthing, where we become the midwives for our future. Name it, protect it, nurture it, give yourself the gift of love in this process.